


Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion

by track_04



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twilight, Crack, Epistolary, Humor, M/M, Remix, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-01
Updated: 2010-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/track_04/pseuds/track_04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life as a vampire is hard. Especially when you've got friends like Kame and Koki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't U Ever Stop (Sparkling)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/283228) by [astrangerenters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters). 



> Originally written for Cycle 5 of jentfic_remix. Reposted from LJ.

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Thu, Sept 4, 2008 at 3:52pm  
 **subject:** Love your package!

Massu,

I got your package today! Thanks for the CD and the bag. Argyle, how did you know? Haha. I haven’t heard of Perfume, but I think Junno’s mentioned them before. I’m sure they’re good. Kame is taking me shopping for my birthday tomorrow, so I’ll listen to them in the car (and I won’t have to listen to one of Kame’s mixed cds this way. Only so much Fallout Boy a guy can stand. Lol).

So, how’s the weather in Tokyo? Not too sunny, I hope. ;)

I’ll tell Junno you said hi. He and Koki should be dropping by in the next month or so, once they stop following A-Kon’s road tour. Apparently he has some tasty groupies. Who knew?

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, Sept 8, 2008 at 9:46pm  
 **subject:** Shopping with Kame...

Massu,

Kame is still going to that High School in Forks. I guess he likes it, since it rains there almost every day and he can play baseball. He’s still doing the whole vegetarian thing. Personally, I think he’d be a lot less uptight if he just ate one of his teachers, but you know Kame. He’s all excited about classes and getting to play human and thinks that would ruin his image.

The shopping trip was good! Kame talked the whole way about the last episode of _Buffy_ that he watched, but I just tuned him out and listened to the CD you sent. You’re a life saver! (You were right, btw-- _Baby Cruising Love_ is the perfect song to clean to.)

Junno texted me and said they’re in L.A. now and people keep asking if Koki is Mexican. I tried to tell him shaving his head was a bad idea.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

P.S. Kame just called me and bitched for half an hour about some new Japanese exchange student at his school. I think being in High School for the past 50 years has made him even more neurotic.

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Sat, Sept 27, 2008 at 5:12pm  
 **subject:** What the hell

Massu,

Sorry I didn’t reply to your email sooner. I was going to do it last Saturday, but then Kame showed up at 2 in the morning and started banging on my door until I let him in. He spent the rest of the night going on and on about Jin (that Japanese kid at his school that I told you about). Apparently Kame can’t read his thoughts, so now he thinks that makes them soulmates. I told him it probably just means that there’s nothing there to read, but you know how well he listens when he gets like this.

I told him he could crash at my place for the weekend since he was pretty worked up, but then he ended up staying the entire week!! It wouldn’t have been so bad if he’d actually wanted to hang out, but all he did was lay around watching _Gilmore Girls_ reruns and read me poems he’d written. I totally had to TiVo the season premiere of Grey’s because he was hogging the TV and it cut off the last fifteen minutes, so now I have no idea if Meredith and Christina made up or not. Ugh. :(

Ueda came over on Thursday and we tried to talk Kame into going out to find someone to eat, but he started talking about being a vegetarian and soulmates and looked so pathetic that even Ueda felt bad, so we ended up staying in and playing Scrabble instead. Ueda says I owe him for making him suffer through the most boring night of his life now (I think he’s just upset because he lost).

This bag that you sent me is a man’s bag, right? Ueda told me it looked like a purse.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Thurs, Oct 2, 2008 at 10:13am  
 **subject:** re: re: What the hell

Massu,

I _told_ Ueda it was a man’s bag! We saw another guy with one that looked almost the same, but Ueda kept saying it was just a really butch looking woman. Whatever. I’m showing him your email as proof.

I think Kame ate my neighbor’s cat when he was here. I’m afraid to ask, though. I messaged him on Skype the other night to tell him he left one of his shirts here and he talked to me for 6 hours about Jin. I don’t think my neighbor liked that cat that much, so it’s probably okay.

Junno and Koki decided to spend some time in San Francisco and I guess Koki really likes the clubs there, so I probably won’t see them until spring. Maybe I’ll go down and visit them sometime and get out of Washington for a bit.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massu~  
 **date:** Fri, Nov 14, 2008 at 9:46pm  
 **subject:** Update :)

Massu,

I haven’t heard from Kame in almost two months. Either he’s been busy with finals or he finally gave in and ate that Jin kid. Maybe I should message him the next time he’s online and see what’s up. Do you know if he’s talked to Tegoshi at all lately?

Did you get the invite for that Vampires vs. Werewolves game on Facebook? You should join and help me out. Koki and Junno keep ganging up on me. :(

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, Apr 13, 2009 at 7:12pm  
 **subject:** Have you talked to Kame?

Massu,

I think Kame might be dating that human kid. He hasn’t said anything to me, but he changed his relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” a few weeks ago. He won’t answer any of the messages I send him and he’s never on Skype anymore so I haven’t been able to ask.

Just wondering if you’d heard anything--I need to go finish my spring cleaning now. Koki and Junno get into town tomorrow. I think they said something about going to visit Kame (Koki wants to borrow his _Gilmore Girls_ dvds. I think I might hide my dvd player before they get here), so I guess we’ll see what’s up with him then.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Wed, Apr 15, 2009 at 6:22pm  
 **subject:** The sheets in this hotel smell weird

Massu,

In Forks staying at some dumpy motel with Junno and Koki. Apparently Kame _is_ dating that human. We ran into them making out in a field and he got all weird and defensive after we talked to him and took his human and ran off to Arizona. Talk about awkward.

Koki’s all pissy about not getting those _Gilmore Girls_ dvds and wants to go after him and Junno keeps saying dating a human is against the natural order of things. Only, you know, with more puns. It is pretty weird, but whatever. It’s not like Kame’s ever been normal.

I have to say, Kame’s human isn’t bad looking for a mortal. Kind of pretty. He smells like KFC and weed, though, which is just weird.

I think I’m going to take Koki to see a movie to see if he’ll calm down. If he gets too worked up he’ll just end up wanting to go after Kame, and I need to be back in Seattle by the weekend. J.C. Penney’s is having their annual housewares sale and I don’t want to miss it.

Wish me luck.  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 11:54pm  
 **subject:** !!!!!!!

Son of a.... Junno left to go after Kame’s human while Koki and I were at the movie!! He took my car!! D:

Ugh, I guess this means I’m renting a car and driving to Arizona. Goodbye 30% off items storewide.

I’ll email you when I get back.

Yuichi  
P.S. Don’t ever let Koki pick the movie if you go with him. I just had to sit through _Hannah Montana_.

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Sun, Apr 19, 2009 at 5:33am  
 **subject:** Well, this sucks

Massu,

So, Kame killed Junno for threatening his human. What the fucking fuck?! Koki is soooo pissed.

I was going to call Kame to ask what the hell was wrong with him after I got home, but I think I’m going to give him time to cool off first. I’m kind of afraid he’ll decide he needs to stake me next.

Koki is staying with me now. Junno had the only key to their apartment in his pocket and Kame burned it up with his corpse. He could have at least checked his pockets first!

I’m taking Koki to get another copy from their landlord tomorrow. I keep having to hide my car keys so he won’t go after Kame.

What the hell. Seriously.

Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Tue, Apr 28, 2009 at 8:42am  
 **subject:** re: re: Well, this sucks

Massu,

Koki is still staying with me. I guess Junno never put Koki’s name on their lease, so the landlord won’t hand over a key and he’s stuck here until he can find another apartment. He wanted to just kill the landlord and take the key, but I talked him into breaking in and getting the stuff he wanted and bringing it back here instead. I told him someone would figure it out if the landlord was suddenly dead and he was squatting in the apartment (but I was also kind of worried about ruining the shoes I was wearing. You know how into the whole death and destruction thing Koki gets when he’s out of sorts. He always makes such a mess).

Having him here’s not so bad, I guess. Except for all the stuffed animals he keeps brining home because he says they remind him of Junno. Sitting on the couch makes me feel like I’m being eaten alive by a giant teddy bear. It’s kind of creepy.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Thu, May 14, 2009 at 6:14pm  
 **subject:** ....

Koki was listening to Barry Manilow and crying when I got home today. I... don’t know what to do with this. I should be worried, right?

Right?

Yuichi

P.S. I may have to take you up on the offer and come stay with you for a few days after this is over.

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Fri, May 29, 2009 at 2:03pm  
 **subject:** Another update!

Massu,

Thanks for the advice but I think things are better now. I managed to find Koki a new apartment and he seems to be doing ok. He keeps talking about getting revenge on Kame, but he hasn’t done anything yet, so I think it’s mostly just talk. Hopefully.

Ueda keeps telling me I should just sleep with him if I _really_ want him to feel better but IDK. I think that would just make things awkward, don’t you? I can’t ever tell if he’s being serious or not.

Ueda still won’t stop calling my bag a purse. I think he’s just jealous.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Sun, May 31, 2009 at 9:35pm  
 **subject:**???

Massu,

Did you tell Tegoshi about what Ueda said about me and Koki?! He keeps posting our names with big hearts around them on my Facebook wall. D:

Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, June 1, 2009 at 2:56am  
 **subject:** Nevermind!

Massu,

Ignore my last email! I talked to Ueda after I sent it, and I guess he mentioned something to Koyama, and then Koyama told Tegoshi. Now Koyama won’t stop bugging me about it either. He keeps texting me and telling me I should be true to my feelings.

How pissed do you think everyone would be if I killed Ueda?

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

P.S. Kame called and invited me to a birthday party he’s having for Jin in a few weeks. I guess this means he’s okay with me?

P.P.S. Do you think a bowtie would be too formal to wear?

P.P.P.S. Is it rude if I don’t bring a gift?

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, July 6, 2009 at 10:09am  
 **subject:** Ueda’s safe for now

Massu,

Haha, no worries, I didn’t kill Ueda. I told him he had to go to Kame’s party with me, though. I think that was payback enough.

In hindsight, that might not have been the best idea. Jin cut his finger and Ueda tried to eat him, so now Kame’s all pissed off at him. At this rate, I have no idea what I’m going to do for the Christmas gift exchange this year. Everyone’s going to be dead or not speaking by the time December rolls around.

Speaking of, you should email me your list! I want to get my shopping done early this year. ;)

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Wed, July 29, 2009 at 11:51am  
 **subject:** More Kame stuff

Massu,

I talked to Kame finally. I guess he’s not really pissed at Ueda, so that’s good. He sort of flipped out over the whole thing and broke up with Jin, though, and now he’s staying at my place again.

At least this time he’s watching _Buffy_ instead of _Gilmore Girls_. Willow is kind of cool.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

P.S. Are you sure you sent me the right wish list? I didn’t really think you liked skulls that much.

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Tue, Aug 4, 2009 at 4:50pm  
 **subject:** :)

Massu,

Haha. Thanks for clearing that up about the list. Glad you sent the right one this time. Although I’m sure you could use some pink skull boxers, too. Lol.

I think Kame’s thinking about getting out of state for awhile. I really don’t know what he’s going to do, but he made me promise to keep an eye on Jin and keep him updated.

Did I tell you that he apparently sneaks into his room and watches him sleep? Is it just me, or is that creepy?

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Sun, Sept 6, 2009 at 11:08am  
 **subject:**

Massu,

No, Kame didn’t ask me to watch Jin sleep. Thank god. I think I might have to tell him our friendship was over. Lol.

I’ve been to Forks a couple of times since he left, but nothing too exciting is going on. The kid seems to sit around and get high and mope a lot. That’s about it.

Kame calls me for an update almost every night and then he never wants to get off the phone. Sometimes I just put the phone down on the counter and go play X-Box. He usually doesn’t notice if I check in for a few minutes every hour or so.

I started my Christmas shopping! I’m already halfway through my list. I still have to figure out what to get for Koki, though. I was thinking maybe some concert tickets or one of those big gangster necklaces. What do you think? I asked Ueda but he just made a comment that I’d rather not repeat.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 7:22pm  
 **subject:** Merry Christmas! :D

Massu,

Merry Christmas!! I know it’s a little early, but I’m glad you guys got my package and liked the gifts (even if you weren’t supposed to open them until Christmas Day…). Tegoshi said something about taking a trip for New Year’s? I hope you guys have fun! Maybe I’ll come visit for New Year’s next year. ;)

Kame’s still calling every night and Jin still just sits around, looking depressed. He’s starting to look a little... heavier around the middle. Kind of hoping Kame gets over himself and just comes home soon. People in Forks are starting to recognize me and it kind of creeps me out. The guy at the gas station calls me by my first name. He gave me a discount on my gas, though.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, Mar 22, 2010 at 5:11pm  
 **subject:** Do you have any experience with suicide…?

Massu,

I think Jin is trying to kill himself. He keeps doing things like crashing motorcycles and trying to eat 6 chalupas in one sitting. I’m not sure whether or not I should tell Kame. On the one hand, he might come back, but on the other... well, it’s Kame. He’s not that good at finding that middle ground between apathetic and batshit.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Tue, Mar 30, 2010 at 10:09pm  
 **subject:** I think they do this to me on purpose

Massu,

So, I may not have to worry about Jin killing himself. Apparently Koki hasn’t given up on this revenge thing since he tried to kill Jin a few days ago. I thought I was going to have to go stop him, since Kame would be super pissed if he actually managed it, but some werewolf jumped in and saved him. I’ve never seen a human attract so many supernatural beings. He’s either really special or Forks is just especially boring.

I really hope Koki and Kame hurry up and make up soon. This is getting irritating.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Fri, Apr 9, 2010 at 1:57pm  
 **subject:** Not again

Kame left a really weird message on my phone. Something about “not being able to live with half of his heart dead” and “misery hanging like a pit around him”. I thought they might just be some of his depressing song lyrics so I tried googling it, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. You don’t think it could be one of his poems, do you?

Waiting for him to answer my text. It’s probably too much to ask that this is all nothing and I can actually spend my weekend the way I had planned for once, right?

Sigh.

Yuichi

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Wed Apr 10, 2010 at 8:56pm  
 **subject:** no subject

emailing from my phone. going to Italy to keep kame from trying to kill himself. taking his human along with me.

so much for my plans. should i pick you up a souvenir?

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon, Apr 12, 2010 at 9:23pm  
 **subject:** no subject

maiing from my phone again--just wanted to let you know that kame is safe. on a plane back to washington with him and jin. will write more when i get back!

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon Apr 12, 2010 at 11:02pm  
 **subject:** help!!!

i think jin is trying to give kame a handjob. he won’t stop touching him and i’m stuck in the window seat. oh god oh god. what do i do?!

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Mon Apr 12, 2010 at 11:12pm  
 **subject:**

false alarm... i think. there’s still 5 hours left on this flight and the only movie they’re playing is what a girl wants. fml.

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Tue, Apr 13, 2010 at 12:44am  
 **subject:**

you know, amanda bynes is seriously underrated as an actress. do you think koki’s seen this movie?

ooo

**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Wed, Apr 14, 2010 at 8:06am  
 **subject:** All Clear!

Massu,

I have never thought I’d be this glad to be back in Washington! I may have to postpone any trips to Tokyo until after I’ve recovered from that plane ride. Sorry about spamming you like that and thanks for your answers! Luckily Kame is more of a prude than Jin so nothing happened. I think, at least. He had a blanket over his lap for the last half of the trip so I just ignored it. Haha.

You know, for a human, Jin’s not so bad. I still don’t know why Kame thinks they’re soulmates, but whatever makes him happy, I guess.

Koki slipped a weird note under my door while I was gone. It had a drawing of a turtle being stabbed and then some Kanye West lyrics. I should probably wait and ease him into the whole forgiving Kame for killing Junno thing, right? Hopefully he won’t do anything stupid in the meantime.

Yours Truly,  
Yuichi

ooo

  
**from:** Nakamaru Yuichi  
 **to:** Massentai~  
 **date:** Thu, Apr 15, 2010 at 1:15am  
 **subject:** Changed my mind. Washington sucks.

So, about that vacation…

ooo


End file.
